October 17, 2014

A future that never was.


In no time I will leave and runaway, my love. If I wouldn't, I know you would...
Leave me, hurt me, unlove me, darling... As I am the good one to leave behind!

Our paths won't meet no more sweetheart and I am bound to miss a future that will never be... Just like I missed, eternaly, before, another tomorrow that never came to exist.
I am bound to miss, to long, to yearn... And still stand on my pillar of hope.

I'll be longing for all the kisses we won't kiss, my baby... the stories, the laughs, the mornings, the afternoons and the nights... all those years we won't ever share.

I will miss what I never danced with you, my dearest, what we never traveled or all your friends I never met.

You won't solve all my misteries and I won't appease your fears... 
I won't get to love what you keep hiding from me, my beautiful baby. We won't rejoice at all our conquers or lean against each other when the troubles seem too many for one single soul to carry.

I won't ever discover how many wrinkles will the corner of your smiley eyes acumulate over the years, honey. And I won't tell you, every morning when I wake up, how I love those little wrinkles... and even more, those eyes.

Your chest won't be my pillow no more and I'll be forever missing your neck where I hide my face in those midweek Sunday mornings, feeling my breath against your skin.

I won't feel again your heart beating against my chest, nor will I look at you and me standing together in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing our teeth and smiling at the perfection of such ordinary moment.

I won't count your white hairs over the years and there won't be anything, ever, for us to call ours.

I won't be annoying. You won't be stubborn. There won't ever be mountains for us to climb, nor problems for us to fight.

There won't be birthdays to share, festive moments, endless summer days or any winter nights, curled up together with the rain outside.

There won't be growing old together, nor growing love...

I will leave, my love.
You would leave me, anyhow...
... and this future I'm longing for, just never was, sweet baby of mine.

Bye-bye.


"From the mountains to the sea
And the city
From the valleys to the moon
In every country

I will be there
Standing beside you
I will be there
Standing by your side."

                       
                                        Odessa