April 22, 2014

If life was the movie playing in my head.

Let's stay in tonight. Talk about our sad stories and then laugh at it all as we both know we found comfort again in each other's eyes. We won't let the red wine turn to vinegar in that open bottle and love won't be a haunting secret no more.

April 15, 2014

Let go.

As the sweet memories of distant loves and distant times lingered in her thoughts, she realized she had already come a long way.

Letting go was a lesson she struggled to learn. Letting people go and hurl themselves into their own destiny, their own battles, without feeling like she, herself, was losing… them… passion... life… it all took a lot from her.

It was hard to make her heart settle into the thought that, just like the sun rises and sets every single day, come rain or shiny date, come cold fronts or warm winds, also people come and go into our still pictures that make for specific life moments.

For the longest time, it all adjusted tenderly, but sadly, on her heart.

She finally realized, with patience, that letting go can be the translation of great love. A selfless love that understands and gets inspired with these different journeys of the people that make us who we are… in this instant or this eternity.

Goodbye… the word consumed itself in hurt, doubts and despair, yet it ended up liberating and soothing tortured souls that look for a common ground that might not exist. She ultimately embraced the strength of the word, of the feeling... the relieve it could bring… the peace.

She could finally value the beauty of departure. Deconstruction. Breakdown... As ruins allow for renewal and damage for repair.

She rather live now, safe and sound in her serenity, alone even when surrounded by so many people, happy with the happiness she guesses in the ones she loves, as she now knows life makes us all islands at some point… tiny dots in an ocean we are all trying to brave across.

We are all islands until we become refugees of something, of some place, of someone…

In this world we share we ought to learn to be truly kind, truly content to feel that everything is, already, now, always, as it should be… 

With every word I live again through the eyes of another
We'll meet at night, wet from the rain
and surprise each other with how we take away the pain
Could you be the one to find me safe and sound?
Love is how it's lost .. not how it's found

                                                                       Azure Ray

April 08, 2014


There's a feeling within that keeps me awake when my soul should be sleeping. There's a restlessness inside that doesn't let me be… and yet it keeps me alive, as it is in these aches and discomforts that I find my true inspirations and visions, my limits and edges, my purpose and ambitions… myself.

As my hand searches frantically for another hand to hold, my heart keeps beating in my chest with a quietness I am having trouble getting used to… It seems like there is a loneliness in being together that won't leave my being. 

Perhaps it is this wish of keeping my spirit constantly agitated by every little detail of this journey. Yearning to be surprised… by every simple thing, by every complicated story, by others and mostly by myself. Desiring to keep being in a state of wonder. Marveling more than being certain, questioning more than answering, bewildering more than explaining.

I keep longing for moments that never happened. For years that were never mine. For stories that were never really fulfilled. I keep longing for a past that didn't exist and a future that I don't want to guess.

To this energy you once called guilt, just to hurt me. To me it feels more like a constant and glowing pain. 

The schizophrenic agony of having or craving for... Daring to try or fearing the loss... Giving it all or eternally hiding... Honestly loving or honestly leaving.

A pain. 

Love maybe, as some call it.

You, as I learned to name it.

"But don't let it pass
Don't get locked in
Everything starts
Way from within.

Where nothing is compromised
Nothing is lost
When everything is realized
Nothing is crossed.

But don't let it pass."


April 03, 2014

If life was the movie playing in my head.

Let's watch Garden State once again, dream of our own elipsis and let Such Great Heights transform us in corresponding pieces from the clay. There will be beauty in our careless, sleepless nights and our hearts will never be the same again. You will be an evolutionist and I'll just be broken. We will both be happy.