August 08, 2015


"You do me good", I always told you, feeling deep down how much that good was so wrong.

As I face, forcefully, the dictatorship of this fleeting time we were given, I can no longer avoid you, your energy, your presence and my love.

I haven't laughed this easily in a long time and I better stop now before I start crying... before I start cherishing what is not mine.
I know at this random moment again, with a feeling close to presumption (but that isn't more than a certainty coming from what is left of the good side of my soul), that I am what you need and you will keep being forever the only one for me...

I keep dreaming while I am all awake looking at you across a wire, crossing the distance of an ocean, trying to still feel the smell you left behind, hoping to find, this time peacefully, your hand resting in mine... And all these dreams keep this cut you made dripping and I don't thing my blood can thicken.

Time comes and it will go, sooner maybe than we expected, and all the while I can't forget the things we did.. and all the while I can't forget the things we never will.

As I sink in all that surrounds me, when I'm tired of being down and I got no fight, I feel you as strong as the world, steading these fatal tides, controlling the storm I fear and being the storm I dream.

I understand now, as much as we would build a house around this, or put a name to it, it will all be still temporary and softening and all I can really do... is love you.

You are good to me, you are a sight to see... You are wonderful and it is beautiful...  Know that I could make you smile, if only you would stay a while...

But you're somebody's baby now.

"Break my legs so I won't walk to you
Cut my tongue so I can't talk to you
Burn my skin so I can't feel you
Stab my eyes so I can't see...

                                Sharon van Etten